Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
