Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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