i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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