just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
