Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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