whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
