Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
As shirtless as possible
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
