are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
