We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
