Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize