I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
