phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
