i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
