i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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