he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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