They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize