Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
