He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The air taste purple.
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