Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
