you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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