ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
