I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
