so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize