Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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