Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
