Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
