So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
