Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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