I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never underestimate the power of titties
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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