I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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