Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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