Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
