You just made me feel so damn special
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
