He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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