I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
