If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
