haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nicole vs. Life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize