my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
