She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize