I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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