i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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