is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
