this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
