Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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