you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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