she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
