We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
