I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
