Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
