So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
