i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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