I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
