why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
