you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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