Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
