I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
