i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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