We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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