Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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