I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
