I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize
