it was like his penis was on wheels.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
