let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize