what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Boobs speak an international language.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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