Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
