we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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