I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
