the day after is always just damage control
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A+ Viking dick
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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