OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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